Gone in and Instant

On Monday morning I found out that someone I was close to passed away in his sleep. This man was my friend, mentor, and we shared the love of music. I have read the things that have been said about him by the many that he taught. They all say that he help many find their voice. Not only because he was the choir teacher, but because he cared about us as his students and helped us to figure out how to find our way. I remember that I was in Westernaires (the singing group that dances) and it was finally my senior year. Every year I would watch the seniors who went before me goof off and sing funny lyrics during practice. So there I was with another senior girl during our summer camp singing a Christmas song.....All I want for Christmas is you Baby....you know by Mariah Carey. Anyway, we, the group, where singing the song when it came to me and the other senior girl that instead of singing the proper lyrics.....it was our turn to goof off and make a funny joke. I don't know who started it but we started singing "All I want for Chris Smith is you.....baby." You see Chris Smith was the name of the man of whom I speak. We sang a few other things that now I would be embarrassed to say.....but after a few choruses of this Mr. Smith stopped us.........and gave us the what for (not that he was ever really mean or anything like that but let us know that this wasn't acceptable). I didn't understand at the time.....but he thought I was better then that.......better then to goof off when many of the underclassmen where my friends........when I realized that, I realized that he taught me a lesson. It wasn't just that time there were others as well where he showed me what true caring meant. He was my friend. It would have been hard for me not to be close to someone that I spent every school day for 5 ears with, including after school practices and weekend performances. I am thankful for his willingness to teach us and care for us. I saw him just 3 weeks ago and talked to him for 5 minutes. What I would have said to him if I would have known that this was the last time that I would see him. There is too much to say here. I know he didn't know all that he has done for us, his students. That was part of his charm. So Good Bye Mr. Smith......the lessons you taught me will be with me for ever.

This also prompted me to think of what I would do if I woke up one morning and my Mr. Amos was laying there and not waking up. If he was gone in an instant. I feel like I should tell my hubby, how grateful I am for him and how hard he works to provide for myself and our children. We don't have to worry about not having a place to live or not having enough food to eat. I am grateful for his love and his patience with our children. Especially when I am all worked up from being here alone with them all week and don't have the patience that I should. I love him for the way he talks like James Bond when he tells me he loves me.............for the way he is dedicated to our faith and he will never know what it means to me that he holds the priesthood worthy and how secure it makes me feel when he is home. There is more that I could say but it is far too sappy already.

Just let me encourage you to tell the people you love, that you love them and tell the people who had a good influence on you that they helped you along your path in life. It seems a little easier to own up to these feelings now that I am older and the more often that I do it. I hope it is the same for you.